Far back when I went zig-zagging
through tamarack pastures
you were my genius, you
my cast-iron Viking, my helmed
lion-heart king in prison.
Years later now you’re young
my fierce half-brother, staring
down from that simplified west
your breast open, your belt dragged down
by an old-fashioned thing, a sword
the last bravado you won’t give over
though it weighs you sown as you stride
and the stars in it are dim
and maybe have stopped burning.
But you burn, and I know it;
as I throw back my head to take you in
an old transfusion happens again:
divine astronomy is nothing to it.
Indoors I bruise and blunder,
break faith, leave ill enough
alone, a dead child born in the dark.
Night cracks up over the chimney,
pieces of time, frozen geodes
come showering down in the grate.
A man reaches behind my eyes
and finds them empty
a woman’s head turns away
from my head in the mirror
children are dying my death
and eating crumbs of my life.
Pity is not your forte.
Calmly you ache up there
pinned aloft in your crow’s nest,
my speechless pirate!
You take it all for granted
and when I look you back
it’s with a starlike eye
shooting its cold and egotistical spear
where it can so least damage.
Breathe deep! No hurt, no pardon
out here in the cold with you
you with your back to the wall.
I'm so excited about the No Pants Subway Ride 2012 (happening this Sunday, the 8th), hosted by the beloved ImprovEverywhere, that I have to spread the love on here. I've been meaning to participate in this event for a few years now, but always managed to miss it. Not this time! I'll be joining my city's pantless ride this Sunday.
You should, too!
Especially if any of you are New Yorkers, which is where ImprovEverywhere originates in, and they always have the largest participants.
Many other cities across the nation will also bare their skivvies and derrieres come this Sabbath, so check this list (scroll upward) to see if your city is one of them.
Also, you should check out ImprovEverywhere's YouTube channel and see what they're about. They infuse joy, spontaneity, irreverence, and quirky perspective into the mundane routine of life by throwing in improvisational wrenches. If you saw a grand flash mob in your area, chances are ImprovEverywhere probably had a hand in it. You'll see a bunch of their work on their channel. I promise you won't help but grin from ear to ear.
Pants are overrated, anyway.
I must create something beautiful with this song.
In fact, I'm going to break precedence in my conscious avoidance of making new year's resolutions.
2012: Create something beautiful and embodies a heartbeat...mine.
Today I think of the community I have grown to know online, and all of the wonderful people I have come to recognize as friends, their lives pixelated across my computer screen, their carefully crafted thoughts and words working their way through the word wide web onto my mobile phone, I read about how they want to be seen and how they see others, all from the park bench where I sit and watch my children play tag, where I watch them learn to play fair.
We are not playing fair.
We are so mindful of telling others how great they are, we are just so good at it, but we forget to recognize we are also human, fallible, broken… and we need to say and hear these kinds of things too. These things are what make us approachable, they are the traits that foster connection, and make it easy for us to relate to one another. Without this kind of honest dialogue, we box ourselves and others into personas that are hard to maintain and hard to break out of… we play an unfair game of make believe where nobody wins, and somebody ends up killing themselves on a beautiful Sunday morning, somebody I don’t know, somebody I’ll never ever ever ever have the chance to get to know.
I hope you are ok with showing the realness of you, the combination of your rawness and your rawr, and while I don’t mind celebrating all the good things you present yourself to be, I want to celebrate you more, I’m ok with the dirt under your fingernails, and the fact that your bed’s not made. I love you, I love your mind, even the dark places, the awful places, the places that scare me shitless, I love those too, because they are you, they are part of the reason I reach out into the world every morning and try to make a connection. I don’t want to miss it, I don’t want to miss the connection between the you that you present yourself to be and the you you really are.
Every Last Fucked Up One of You
So, motherfuckers, sweet sweet angels of imperfection, on this Sunday, a day I am grieving for a man I never met, I am also singing you a love song, an out of key melody with rusty rhythm, mud in the middle, and dirty words at the end. In case I don’t tell you enough, I love you, in my way, every last fucked up one of you, I’m into your gritty truth, I’m into your greatness. So I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me for not high fiving you and telling you how awesome you are all the time. You are not awesome, and I like you that way.
~ Melissa Pierce
I posted this link on Facebook, but I also wanted to email this out to all you folks because this issue affects me personally and means a great deal.
As most of you know, cancer has affected me and my family with a lot of suffering and loss. I know some of you know what I am talking about because you also went through, or are currently going through something similar with your own loved ones. As much as cancer is a deadly and powerful illness that usually consumes the life of an individual in the end, a main factor for why I lost so many loved ones to this disease was because they couldn't receive the quality/accurate care needed to address a serious illness, could not afford all the medical expenses to treat cancer, and/or their insurance coverage was not adequate enough to provide all treatments needed.
Needless to say, I'm in favor of sweeping/universal health care reform.
I have a brilliant and dear friend who is trying to help save a life of a loved one. Meg is around my age and she suffers from breast cancer. Please check out Meg's brief story here:
The truly horrific part of Meg's story was that it was our own health care's epic failure that produced/gave her cancer in the first place...and then short-change the medical coverage needed for all her treatment to have a fighting chance at it. I'm continually amazed that we are allowing this broken system to determine the worth of our health by the kind of people who seemingly deserve quality care (those who can afford to do so).
I feel like if we can help one life not follow the path dictated by our incredibly myopic health care institution, something incredibly worthwhile has been accomplished. I know this is a minuscule particle in changing the entire system that we currently subscribe to, but I think it's a step, nonetheless, and an example of that each human life's chance at life is NOT a privilege, but a right. Not only that, but that a small corner of congregated human compassion are the atoms for the template of a greater change.
Please, any amount of contribution you can give for Meg's cause (weblink provided above) will be HUGELY appreciated. Even if you can only spare $1.00, we'd be eternally grateful for it. I mean it.
Thank you for your time, always.
~ Chuck Palahniuk
- Current Music:Lupe Fiasco - Hip Hop Saved My Life
Written by and cross-posted from the indomitable primless.
I whole-heartedly agree with every letter her message contains and a thousand wine glasses wouldn't be enough to toast to this.
Would you rather that, when you meet your partner, he/she is complete and happy without you so you can be complete together, or would you rather they were incomplete so that you can come along and complete them?
* Complete and happy.
* I want to complete them.
This question perpetuates that shitty trope that there is "one right person" out there who will somehow transform you into someone a million times more amazing than you are, and who will commit their life to you completely because you do the same for them. It's the idea that without this one partner you will remain a half person, unfulfilled and unsatisfied.
My first reply to this is something like, "Ewwwww," but that's insensitive (and potentially immature, but LA LA LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU WHEN YOU SAY THAT LA LA). The fact that this rotten concept is practically considered standard actually makes me very, very sad. I feel for the people who truly believe that they need someone else to live a full, lovely life. It seems that would lead to its own lifelong dissatisfaction.
Every hardship I've endured reaffirms that that the only person who doesn't come and go is myself. At the end of the day, I'm the only person in my head. I'm the only person living my experiences through the filter created by my unique amalgamation of experiences. I'm the only soul renting this body. I am my only guarantee. Aloneness (and thus, occasionally loneliness) is an integral aspect of the human condition.
And so, one of the most important things I've learned is that being a complete version of myself is not only vital to my mental/emotional survival, but that it's imperative for maintaining my own contentment. It seems so ludicrous to expect that I will find someone who will fill the void within me, rather than finding out how to do so myself. It's vain to expect that someone will dedicate their lives to somehow fulfilling those (and that they would expect me to do the same).
I don't want to lose myself into the life of some future partner. I don't want to meld with anyone else, becoming somehow a portion of them rather than a whole of myself. And I don't believe that just because I'm involved with somebody I will become this completely different, amazing woman, who is more kind and more politically conscious and gives a shit about going to the gym every day and swears less and who doesn't talk too much when she gets nervous. That's all me. While things may change as I grow, the only person who can create the impetus for that change is me.
Being needed is unfortunately revered as something desirable. I don't know if you've ever been needed, but it is a terrible burden, and it's not a guarantee that the person who needs will treat you well. Need is suffocating.
More on that:
There are a million ways to love, respect, and desire someone without needing them. Stop leaning. Assume this life will only be you on your own because there's a very good chance that you're the only person who will attend both your birth and death. All of the people in the middle are part of your experience, but they are transient in your life. They've got their own stories to live. Appreciate that our lives intersect in such funny ways, at such unpredictable, strange times. Cultivate your own satisfaction and learn to stand on your own feet as a monument in your own unfragmented glory.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
While going on my daily evening stroll, I came upon a Korean bar that had a glorious mugshot of North Korean president Kim Jong-Il painted on their marquee, squaring off with the painted South Korean president on the opposite side. Underneath, was the pictured message above.
Normally, I walk away from such scenes with a curved hook on my corner right lip, mildly bemused at the many "lost-in-translation" advertising/marketing gaffes my people conjure up. However, as the 'Midnight Ridazz' (a fun cycling group that does routes all over LA) rode by me, playfully throwing out coy remarks to me, and gorgeous, jewel-eyed felines played cat-and-mouse with me, I was in the mood to be humored. I've encountered this biking crew three times now - it's safe to say we've got recognition going on. I'll have to take a photo of them some time. I just caught them this afternoon and two of them were riding tall bicycles that were about freight truck height.
Always something going on in the city.
Also, I had a banana in between my legs.
It was about the entire length of my femur...which illustrates how large it was or how short I am.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.